Friday, February 17, 2012

"Beat Down and Water Flow!"

Everyone was laughing until someone walks in the door with their brides maids to try on dresses.

Bey: *stands up* Can i beat her ass!? or is somebody else gona do it for me?

Angie: *face palm* look everybody just calm down.
Bey: *sits back down and holds stomach* Yall better get her ass or I WILL *mean mugs the woman*
The woman walks over to the desk and signed in. After she signed in, her and her bridesmaids took a seat in the loby across from Angie's party. The woman took a seat next to Bey.
Bey: Well hello to you too Monica..*rolls eyes*
Monica: Oh hey *smirks and rolls her eyes*
Solange: And what the fuck are you hear for? *rolls eyes and crosses arms*
Monica: Im here to pick out my dress. Why else do you come to a bridal shop? *under her breath* stupid bitch
Solange: Oh this bitch must have forgot about the ass whoopin she got at that dinner party! *starts walking toward her to beat the brakes of her but Ty stopped her*
Ty: Solange! Wait…*holds her*
Bey: I didn’t know you were getting married…who are you marrying? *trying to get the TEA*
Solange: Yeah, who would marry your ugly ass? *still being held by Ty*
Monica: Oh your father didn’t tell you? *gets up and stands in front of Solo who is being held back by Ty* Me and Him are getting married..*rolls eyes*

Solange: Uh uh let me at this bitch! *starts charging towards her*
Ty: No Solo…*holds her she aint worth it*
Kelly: Nah Solo don’t do it! she aint worth it! Let Me *charges at Monica and beats the brakes off her*
Mama Tina: *grabs Kelly* uh uh Kelly get off her. *pushes Kelly aside stands over the girl and helps her up* You guys are ridiculous. Let ME! *smack the dog piss outta Monica*
Bey: dammmmnnnnnn Mama *covers her mouth*
Ty: Damn Miss Tina I didn’t know you had it in you! *laughs*
Mama Tina stood over Monica who was in the floor passed out. Everyone stood there to see what Mama Tina was gona do next. Even Monica’s bridal party was just sitting there looking at Monica. Solange broke the silence!
Solo: *to Monica’s bridal party* Can one of yall bitches get this hoe off the floor?
Bridesmaid1: *was scared as hell* yeah *goes over to tend to Monica*
Bridal Shop Owner: *comes out of the back* *to Miss Tina* Mrs. Knowles we are ready for you all! *smiles* (she doesn’t know whats going on)
Angie: How about we come here another day guys…*looks down at the floor* (She was kinda upset that her day was kindve ruined)
Bey: uh uh! We came to look at Dresses! Lets go look at dresses! *stands up grabs her purse and walks towards the back*
Ty: Aye! Im in *follows Bey*
Kelly: *fixes her shirt and flips her hair* Me too *follows them*
Mama Tina: *looks over at Monica and rolls her eyes* yeah lets go! *follows them*
Solo: Ch…come on hoe! *motions Angie to follow them*
Angie: okay I guess *shrugs*
Monica is still in the loby as they shop for gowns. Everyone went on as if nothing happened! Monica was too scared to call the cops so she just decided to leave. But that didn’t stop the news about the fight from hitting the media! The security cameras caught everything! By time they left the bridal shop it was on the internet. Jay and Kanye were in the studio laying down beats while Julez was on the couch sleep... suddenly…)
JCole: *walks in the studio* ayeee Yall!!! *daps them*
Jay: wassup man, how are you?
JCole: Im good man, taking this day by day. So Ye I hear you getting married?
Kanye: Yeah man! I am.
JCole: I cant believe it! Kanye. Settling down. *shakes his head and chuckles*
Jay: yeah man that’s what I said!
Kanye: well man I thought the same about you and Bey when yall first got married!
Jay: *chuckles* you did! You were the one that almost convinced me not to marry her ass! *punches him in the arm playfully*
Kanye: Aye Man! *laughs* That was the old Ye! *laughs harder*
Jay: *laughs* *to JCole* So anyway what brings you here Man?
JCole: Nothing much! Just wanted to stop by and check on you guys! You seem like your doing good though Jay inspite of what going on! *takes a seat*
Jay: *confused look* What do you mean? Inspite of whats going on?
JCole: I mean with Bey’s mom being on the internet and all!
Jay: huh? On the internet for what?
JCole: you didn’t hear?
Kanye: hear what dude? *confused look*
JCole: Oh shit! Miss Tina and the rest of them were at a bridal shop today and they supposedly beat up some girl! *chuckles*
Jay: O_O WHAAAAAT?
Kanye: Oh damn!
Jay: *laughs* wait…your kidding right?
JCole: I wish I was! *laughs* They got it on video! It was on MediaTakeOut
Jay: What???? *calls Bey*
(Phone Convo: Solange answered)
Solange: wassup wassup wassup wassup WASSUP MUFUCKA WHERE MY MONEY AT? *laughs*
Jay: *laughs* Aye Solo, wheres Bey!?
Solange: Over here stuffing her face with some tasty cakes. We are on our way back to Mama’s house.
(They were just leaving the bridal shop)
Jay: Can I talk to her for a second?
Solange: yeah hold up! *gives Bey the phone*
Bey: Hey Babe….Miss me?*stuffing her face*
Jay: Yeah of course i miss you. But ummm Bey? What’s this I hear about ya’ll beating up some woman in the bridal shop?
Bey: *still scarfing down tasty cakes* Jay, I’ll talk to you when I get home! *giggles and gets in the car*
Jay: nah, you gone talk to me right now! What happened?
Bey: Jay. Meet me at my moms if you wanna know so bad! My phone is dying! *giggles*
Jay: Ard babe, Me and Ye on our way there now.
Bey: kay *hangs up and finishes eating her tasty cake*
About a hour later, Bey, Ty, Kelly, Solo and Angie were all chilling at Mama Tina’s apartment in New York when Jay and Ye showed up at the door.
Ty: *opens the door* *yells* The guys are here! Hey yall! *chuckles*
Kanye: *holding Julez* Aye wassup Ty! Can you let us in! this bull is HEAVY!
Jay: whats good Ty!
They all go into the living room where the girls are. Kanye gives Julez to Solange and she layed him down on the couch next to Mama Tina.
Jay: *puts his hands in the air* OKAY SO SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? *laughs*
Mama Tina: chillleeee, its a longgg... *interupted*
Ty: To make a long story short, Kelly beat the pumpkin peels off Mr. Matthew’s skank! Then Miss Tina jumped in it and smashed that bitch to pumpkin juice!! *laughs*
Kanye: :O
Jay: :O
Solange: *walks by them and closes their mouths for them* Close your mouths gentlemen! Flies might get in *laughs and walks into the kitchen*
Bey: *tries getting up off the couch but can’t* Can somebody help me up? *giggles*
Jay: *walks over to her and helps her* Here babe I got you *grabs her hand and pulls her up*
Bey: Thanks babe *smiles*
Kanye: Dang Bey! When are you due?
Jay: The 12th! Shes big aint she? *laughs*
Kanye: *laughs* Yeah She is *shakes his head*
Bey: Jay?
Jay: huh?
Bey: come here baby *motions her to come toward her and wraps his arms around her waist*
Jay: *smiles what is it baby*
Bey: *kisses him* *THEN SUDDENLY SHE GRABBED HIS BOTTOM LIP AND PULLED IT DOWN* YOU THINK THATS FUNNY? *Raises her eyebrow*
Jay: ahhh Bey! Let Go!!!
Bey: *lets go* You gone learn to stop trying me while im pregnant!
Jay: *holds his mouth* Ahhh im sorry babe damn! *chuckles*
Bey: *walks out of the room and into the kitchen with Solo*
Kelly: *laughs* Bey you are a trip! That baby is making you so damn mean!
Jay: *still holding his lip* Tell me about it! *side eyes Bey as she wobble's into the kitchen*
Mama Tina: I was the same way when i was pregnant with Solange! I gave Matthew so much hell! *laughs*
Kanye: *laughs* So did you guys have any luck with the dresses?
Angie: *laughs* we found a beautiful dress today... *walks over to Kanye and kisses him*
Ty: mhmmmm its to die FOR! *chuckles*
Kelly: It is very beautiful! *smiles* And she looks great in it!
Kanye: That’s good babe! *kisses her again* mmm I miss those lips..
Angie: *giggles* Did you? *smiles*
Kelly: Alright! You love birds quit it now! Im getting a break from Bey and Jay practically humping each other in front of me! I don’t need yall two startin! *starts laughs*
Everybody laughed
Kanye: Im sorry Kellz! *smiles and lets go of Angie*
(Mean While in the kitchen)
Bey: Solo why doesn’t Mama have any damn cheerios???? *raiding the fridge*
Solange: Look here pregyonce!!!! You will not come for Mama over some damn cheerios! Yo ass betta eat these lucky charms and DEAL! *grabs the cereal box out of the cabinet and passes it to Bey*
Bey: *smirks and grabs the lucky charms* You better be lucky I am extremely hungry or I would open this box and poor it on you! *side eyes her and they both laugh together*
Bey made her a bowl of cereal and Solo got herself a bottle of water. As soon as Bey was finished making her bowl  of cereal she went INNNNN. Lol
Bey: *going ham on the bowl of Lucky Charms*
Solange: I cant wait til you have this baby! YOU are gona eat someone out of a house, a home, a car, a…*interrupted*
Bey: SHUT UP SOLO! *giggles*
Solange: Your still the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world! *smiles and hugs her*
Bey: *breaks the hug and gives solo a death stare* -___-
Solange: What? *laughs* remind me never to give yo pregnant ass another damn compliment! *just then, the doorbell rings*
Solange: *giggles at Bey’s face expression* Lets go see who this is at the door! *grabs Bey’s hand and they go to the living room*
When they got there Mama Tina was on her way to answer the door…
Ty: Bey! what you got to eat now? *laughs*
Bey: cereal! *stands there and continues eating*
Kelly: *smiles* can I have some?
Bey: *side eyes* sure it’s a whole box in the kitchen! *giggles*
Kelly: You know whaattt!!! *laughs and goes to get herself some out the kitchen*
Mama Tina made her way to the door and she opened it...It was....
Bey: *drops bowl on the floor and holds her stomach*
Jay: Bey…you ok?
Mama Tina: *to the person at the door* What are you doing here? *rolls eyes*
Bey: *water running down her legs* Noooo! I think its time! Ahhhhhh *hold stomach in pain*
Solange: Time? TIME? Time for the baby?
Kelly: No trick! Time for recess! hell yeah time for a baby! *giggles and pushes Solo*
Everybody starrted scrambling around the house to grab their coats and purses. Then they just stand there and look to see what Jay is gona do.
Bey: *yells* WELL DON’T JUST STAND THERE! Ahhhh *holds stomach* GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL! Ahhhhhhhhh!
Jay: Babe *walks over to her* It cant be time babe *holds her hand* the doctor said  your not due til the 12th! Maybe your just.... *interrupted*
Bey: JAY *grips his hand* If you don’t get me to a damn hospital you wont live to see the 12th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jay: ok ok ok *helps her to the door*
Everybody followed them and Solo grabbed Julez off the couch! They all got to the door and…..
Bey: O_O move out of the damn WAY! *death stare to the person*
Solange: What are you doing here? *holding Julez*
Bey: I don’t care why your here! Just get outta my waaaaaayy ahhhhhhh *holds stomach*

TBC....

Thanks for reading! Sorry this one isnt as long as the others! Ill update again tomorrow! <333 love yall ! MUAH ! S/o to my BeyFam!!!!!!
QUESTION: Who do you guys think is at the door? (a) The Cops (b) Matthew (c) Monica (d) JCole COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT !!!! (via twitter or via Comment box below)

Kelly: Oh Please no! LET ME! Bey you can sit!

Solange: Oh shit...*blank stare*
Mama Tina: I got the vudo for this bitch *rolls eyes and grabs purse*


Ty: Its about to go dowwwwwwwwwn!!!! *laughs*

5 comments:

  1. Lmaooo! This was hilarious! I think it's Mathew. Great post >>>>>>>>>

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol it's not the cops or J. Cole. I think it's Monica

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  3. loooooooooooooooooooooooolllll i love your blog!! update oon and aww man its not to be the same without pregnant beyonce!!

    ReplyDelete